Global Warming Will Force More Women into Prostitution!

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 3 May 2013 | John Semmens


Representative Barbara Lee (D-Calif) warns that global warming will lead to an increase in sex-for-pay. As Lees sees it, higher temperatures will force women to wear skimpier clothing in an effort to endure the heat. More scantily clad women will induce more men to approach them with indecent propositions. The persistence of horny men and the lure of easy cash will be irresistible.
Lee admitted that she wasn’t sure what could be done to avert this calamity, but thought that “we ought to be looking at possible options. Do we enforce a stricter dress code like some religions do? Do we make it illegal for men to approach women who are strangers to them? Do we invest in giant cooling fans for areas with heavy pedestrian traffic? I don’t know. What I do know is that we can’t sit by and do nothing.”
Former President Bill Clinton urged that “we not go off half-cocked. The implications of warmer temperatures aren’t all bad. There are real material savings to be had if we could all dress more lightly. I don’t know if there is anything we can really do to significantly affect global climate. Maybe we should just try to acclimate ourselves to a warmer Earth. Perhaps we could decriminalize prostitution. Is there any good reason why paying for sexual services should be illegal anyway? It’s a voluntary transaction, a so-called crime, but one without a real victim.”