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Monday, June 19, 2017
In Case You Missed It Dept.
FBI former director Jim Comey testified to the Senate Intelligence Committee Thursday and stated his distrust for President Trump. He got so-so reviews. It was a tough time slot for Comey because going onstage after Kathy Griffin's performance last week is like trying to follow Gallagher.
James Comey on Thursday bewailed his cowardice before Obama's Attorney General while he asserted his courage before Trump's. Comey will go down in history as the FBI's greatest drama queen since J. Edgar Hoover. FBI groupies can only speculate how tall Comey would be in high heels.
Lindsey Graham said Robert Mueller's decision to allow his star witness Comey to testify in the Senate indicates the Special Counsel has no case of obstruction against Trump. So the Democrats have no collusion and no obstruction. President Trump could sum it all up in a two-word tweet, Beep-Beep.
President Trump faced reporters in the Rose Garden on Friday feeling vindicated by Comey's testimony. So there's no collusion with the Russians and no obstruction of justice. Maybe the Democrats can impeach Trump for Islamophobia if ISIS will just cooperate and lay low for a month.
Attorney General Jeff Sessions is testifying before the Senate Intelligence Committee today to rebut fired FBI director Jim Comey. There's no evidence of collusion or obstruction of justice, but the Democrats still think they can get Trump. Camille Cosby just told the Democrats they're in denial.
Dennis Rodman was spotted by CNN in the Beijing Airport Monday en route to North Korea at the invitation of his friend the North Korean dictator Kim Jung Un. It's no secret why Rodman has been invited to North Korea. Kim Jung Un needs help getting his nuclear warhead down from the top shelf.
Vanity Fair suggested this month that Hillary Clinton fade away after Jim Comey testified that Obama's AG Loretta Lynch tried to publicly downgrade the FBI probe of the e-mail scandal. It never ends. To bring Hillary to life the moment she was born, the doctor slapped her with a subpoena.
NBA legend Dennis Rodman landed in North Korea for basketball diplomacy with his pal Kim Jung Un. It's his first visit in three years. It harkens back to a simpler and more innocent time when Dennis Rodman going to North Korea was the weirdest thing you could imagine in American politics.
Attorney General Jeff Sessions stood his ground in Senate hearings Tuesday probing alleged Russian meddling in the campaign. It's absurd. By the time Congress is finished investigating, it will be clear that Bill Cosby colluded with the Russians to interfere with the integrity of our erections.
Senate Democrats wanted to know if Jeff Sessions, a Confederate senator, U.S. judge and Eagle Scout Baby Boomer raised in the Cold War, colluded with Russians. Are you kidding me? Next they're going to see if a leprechaun who rode a unicorn into Brigadoon killed Nicole Brown Simpson.
The Washington Post reported that Special Counsel Bob Mueller will probe President Trump for obstructing the investigation of a crime that never occurred. Anti-Trump gunfire at GOP House members buried the story. If America died tonight, the police would say there were signs of a struggle.
Republicans and Democrats on Capitol Hill joined to condemn Wednesday's baseball practice shooting. The press reaction was predictable. Fox News blamed social media hysteria, CNN called for gun control, while the New York Times described the shooting of Republicans as Performance Art.
Democrat Jim Hodgkinson was killed by Capitol Police while he fired upon a baseball field of GOP lawmakers. He'd posted it was time to destroy Trump and company. Considering how well we all behaved for America's first black president, we aren't reacting very well to our first orange one.
The House Republican baseball practice attack by a deranged Democrat shocked the world on Wednesday. The shooter stereotyped the fierce independence of thought and action so prevalent in the DNA of Americans. Who needs ISIS when we can terrorize the U.S. government all by ourselves?