Confession of a Conservative rascist-bigot!

I've decided to come clean today before the audience.

I have at various times been accused of being a rascist and/or bigot by family members, coworkers, etc. In my conservative narcissism, I decided to lay my failings before as a catharsis for this terminal condition. Let me list the things and personalities I detest.

I hate baggy pants that show your underwear, I hate fathering children out of wedlock, I hate welfare queens. I hate most of the NBA and a good part of the NFL. I hate home invasion robberies, I hate garish tattoos. I hate EBT foodstamps. I hate race pimps like Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, NAACP, etc. I hate ghetto lingo. I hate flash mobs. I hate anybody hanging around after 11 pm.

Having confessed my rascism, I have an interesting abberation. I love people like Walter Williams, Thomas Sowell, Allen West, Daneen Borelli, Condi Rice, J.C. Watts, Ben Carson. George Washington Carver, The Tuskegee Airmen, Buffalo soldiers, etc. I don't even think about the melanin in their skin when I think of their patriotism.

This weird duality torments me continually. If anyone can offer therapy for this condition, it would be appreciated.