Chevy Hardcore ^ | 1/31/14 | Jason Reiss
It used to be that learning how to drive a manual-transmission-equipped car was 
a rite of passage for all - either you had an uncle with an old car that taught 
you how to do it when you were 14, or you were lucky enough to have a parent 
that wasn’t afraid to row gears, and you went into the driving test feeling like 
a badass. 
Not so for this idiot – one Annas Abdel-Khaliq of Marion County, Florida. 
According to the report, Abdel-Khaliq attempted to steal a 2012 Corvette from 
Ocala Ford Motors in the Sunshine State, but didn’t get very far – only about 
100 feet from its previous position, before the hare-brained scheme hatched in 
his pea-sized mind began to unravel. 
Marion County Sheriff’s Deputy Bloom ordered him to get out of the car, which 
he refused to do. So what was his next step? Why, to grab a steel bar and bash 
the deputy with it a few times in his haste to get away. 
Deputy Bloom got him out of the car, whereupon he started to run away. His 
mad dash was short-lived as Deputy Batts – who had just arrived – unleashed the 
pepper spray and the two deputies caught Abdel-Khaliq and subsequently placed 
him under arrest. 
We have a couple of questions. First, if you’re going to be dumb enough to 
try to steal a car with no tags off a well-lit dealer lot, wouldn’t you check 
first to see if you could drive it? 
Secondly, people still smoke Pall Malls? We thought those were reserved for 
the retired longshoreman that sits on the porch in his rocker at that house on 
the end of the block. 
As our good friend Forrest Gump says, “stupid is as stupid does”, and in this 
case, it’s 100% true. So now Mr. Abdel-Khaliq has a sweet charge of “aggravated 
burglary on a law enforcement officer” on his record to go with the Grand Theft 
Auto tag. That’s a great way to enter your twenties.
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