Edmonton Journal. ^ | 5/5/2012 | Paula Simons
From now on, thoughts will cost a nickel
A box full of shiny pennies at Northgate Stamp and Coin in Edmonton, May 4, 2012. The last penny was struck Friday
at the Canadian Mint because it is being eliminated. Pennies aren't worth much. Even a 1859 one only goes for a few
dollars. The exception is a 1936 Canadian penny with a raised dot under the date fetches around $360,000 to $400,000.
All lovely things will have an ending,
All lovely things will fade and die;
And youth, that’s now so bravely spending,
Will beg a penny by and by.
Conrad Aiken
---
In the wake of the Harper government’s recent budget cuts, we’ve heard from a lot of union leaders who are concerned about job losses.
But it occurred to me this week that we hadn’t heard from the largest group of public sector employees to be eliminated by Conservative cost-cutting: the pennies.
The very last Canadian penny piece was minted this Friday.
And so, I asked a penny for her thoughts.
I turned up Penelope Copper-Coyne Lane, the president of COIN, the Canadian Organization of Integrated Numismatics, who represents the nation’s soon-to-be-rendered-redundant one cent coins.
A rubicund redhead, Penny Lane roundly denounces the elimination of her fellow COINS.
“They’ve just minted the last penny? Dreadful!” she exclaims.
“We aren’t a bunch of penny loafers, you know. We have served the Canadian public for more than 100 years, as highly effective change agents. People talk about value for money? We’ve always provided 100 cents on the dollars.”
Lane says she and her fellow pennies worked without pensions or benefits, for very low wages.
“We’ve been acting like chump change,” she huffs, “working 24/7 for penny-ante compensation. Do you want my two cents worth? I think that when the penny drops, Canadians will realize dropping the penny impoverishes them in ways they’ve not yet begun to calculate.”
Lane argues the elimination of the penny will encourage merchants to round up prices, and spur national inflation. More importantly, she says, the coin’s disappearance will erode Canadian cultural traditions, especially those dear to children.
“No more penny candy. No more penny carnivals. No more penny relays. What will Canadian kids toss into wishing wells and fountains? What will they slip into their piggy banks? And what happens every time it rains? Will it rain dimes from heaven? As if! Those skinny, stuck-up Bluenoses. Well, don’t come running to me when you don’t have two cents to rub together.”
There are, of course, many sound fiscal reasons to eliminate the penny. It costs more to mint the coins than they are currently worth. They clutter up change purses and wallets and cash register drawers. Few, if any, vending machines accept them. And in an era when so many people use debit and credit cards for daily transactions, it’s hard to rationalize spending money on minting coins many people consider a nuisance, hardly worth stooping to pick up.
But Lane insists such penny-pinching arguments represent false economy.
“It’s typical Stephen Harper penny-wise, pound-foolish logic,” she says. “I can’t make heads or tails of that kind of thinking. A penny saved is a penny earned — and if you save your pennies, Canada, you might just be able to afford Bev Oda’s orange juice budget. Or the overtime you pay to Rona Ambrose’s private driver. Take care of your pennies, and your dollars will take care of themselves. Because goodness knows, this government won’t — they can’t buy an airplane without losing track of a few billion.”
Lane knows fighting the Harper government won’t be easy — not with all of her union members about to be taken out of circulation. It’s time, she says, for some penny stock-taking.
“We’re having a bit of a meltdown,” she says. “We’ve thought about taking to the streets, like those students in Montreal — in for a penny, in for a pound, as my great-grandmother, the famous cyclist Penny Farthing, used to say. But I’m not sure that’s the best strategy. Please don’t think I’m two-faced. I’m an old-fashioned activist. That’s why they call me the Last Red Cent. But every time we try to roll out a protest, we get picked up — not by the coppers, but by these superstitious ‘loonies’ who think that if they find us, then all the day they’ll have good luck. It’s very frustrating.”
Still, pretty Penny hopes some Canadians, the nostalgic, romantic ones, the ones who value literature, language and history, might yet cherish her doomed members, might yet protect the from being rounded up, might yet keep these “bad” pennies turning up, for a little while longer.
“Without your love, life’s a melody played in a penny arcade,” she says wistfully. “I’m biased, of course. But to me, a Canada that makes no cents, makes no sense at all.”
