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Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Obama awards himself Medal of Freedom, Declares May Day National Holiday in his honor!
SAT 1 Re News ^ | 5/01/2012
KABUL (SAT 1 Re) - Unable to convince the Joint Chiefs of Staff to nominate him for the Medal of Honor for his actions of May 2, 2011, President Obama has decided to award himself the Presidential Medal of Freedom instead.
During his address to the Global Community from Afghanistan later tonight, Supreme Commader-in-Chief Obama will have Afghan President Karzai hold the coveted award while he runs his head through the ribbon himself.
"It is altogether fitting and appropriate that we do this", said our new National Hero. "My actions on that momentous day will forever mark a new beginning in decision making, when the elimination call of terrorist has-beens are again validated by the wisdom of the Excellency in the White House Situation Room", he added.
"I'm already envisioning the National Mausoleum that will one day grace the National Mall with the embalmed body of my First Pride, for all of posterity to see on every May 1 from that day to eternity", waxed a proud First Mother Michelle Obama.
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