Monday, January 15, 2018

In Case You Missed It

David Letterman will host a monthly one-hour talk show on Netflix beginning next week and Barack Obama will be his very first guest. It was only a matter of time. The gifted comedian couldn't stand being off TV and acting like the King of All he Surveyed, and neither could Letterman.

New York suburban fire departments had to be called Wednesday to put out a blaze at Bill and Hillary Clinton's home in Chappaqua. When the details came out, everybody was so relieved. The fire marshal revealed that the fire was confined to Hillary's bedroom, so Bill was never in any danger.

Attorney General Jeff Sessions ordered U.S. attorneys Thursday to begin enforcing federal laws against marijuana in legal states. A growing number of fitness buffs in Los Angeles have changed their minds about marijuana and now oppose its proliferation. They see it as a gateway drug to gluten.

The Golden Globes became a women's rights rally Sunday following all the sexual misconduct scandals recently. Hollywood still can't help being Hollywood. Actresses at the Golden Globe wore black to protest sexual harassment and they appeared to be dressed in Victoria's Secret funeral wear.

Kim Jung Un said his desk has a nuclear button, prompting Trump to say his nuclear button is bigger. The next day, North Korea agreed to peace talks with South Korea. Leave it to Trump to be the only man to qualify for the Nobel Peace Prize by bragging about the size of his nuclear button.

Los Angeles endured heavy rainstorms this week that exacerbated a deadly influenza epidemic now ravaging the West Coast. It's emptied the pharmacy shelves. The medicine shortage in L.A. is so bad that it's got actresses willing to watch Harvey Weinstein shower in exchange for some Tami-Flu.

President Trump hosted a bipartisan meeting of lawmakers in the White House Tuesday and allowed live TV cameras to cover most of the meeting. Trump was intelligent, calm, assured and in control and effective. CNN suspects collusion between Trump and the makers of anti-psychotic drugs.

President Trump met House and Senate leaders to seek out a compromise on an immigration bill at the White House Tuesday. Last week he tweeted the Hispanics are going to fall in love with him. They might fall in love with Trump when he explains that a wall will keep their relatives from visiting.

The Department of Justice was reported Thursday preparing to re-open the investigation into the Hillary Clinton e-mail scandal that the FBI may have papered over. Last week a fire broke out at Bill and Hillary's house in Chappaqua, but thankfully no one was hurt. It killed all the witnesses.

The Weather Channel aired footage of mudslide damage to million-dollar mansions in Santa Barbara Tuesday including Oprah Winfrey's. Her house was completely covered in mud. She'd barely been a presidential candidate for twenty-four hours and Opposition Research was in full swing.

President Trump was loudly cheered when he walked on the field before the Georgia-Alabama game Monday. He loves the sport. Insiders are saying that President Trump wanted the College National Championship game named after him but unfortunately the Orange Bowl was already taken.

President Trump told GOP and Democratic lawmakers on camera that he wants them to pass immigration legislation that is a Bill of Love. He can't use that title. Bill of Love is how Queen Elizabeth knighted former President Clinton, three years before he was elevated to the Earl of Stain.

Robert DeNiro spewed a profanity-laced tirade against President Trump while he introduced Meryl Streep at a DC gala on Tuesday. It's better for America that you allow celebrities to dictate your political beliefs and not your own brains. Some of these people have degrees from Beverly High.

Chappaqua firefighters were called to the sprawling compound of Bill and Hillary Clinton last week in suburban New York, where firefighters put out a fire that broke out in Hillary's bedroom. If the same type of fire happens a third time, they lose their insurance. The shredder overheated again.

-- Argus Hamilton

Say NO!

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A shithole

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Obama's Library

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It's White

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HIRED!

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Bad or good?

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How dare they?

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How Come?

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Trump Day

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The Court Finds...

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Trickling Down?

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Never Mind!

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Looking

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Nancy

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