IRS to Warn Uninsured

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 25 Sep 2016 | John Semmens 

Irked by the decision of 20 million Americans who have declined to sign up for Obamacare, the IRS is crafting a letter to advise them of the "antisocial implications" of non-participation.

Commissioner John Koskinen explained that "failure to enroll evinces a lack of cooperation with a policy that the government has determined is necessary. Non-compliers may feel that enrollment is optional. It is not. That's why there is a fine. Paying the fine doesn't get them off the hook."
Koskinen pointed out that "not only does the amount of the fine ratchet up each year, our Agency has other tools at its disposal to try to encourage obedience. We can conduct audits, freeze bank accounts, and seize assets as a means of compelling the recalcitrant to yield to the government's wishes. We regard advising people of their peril by letter to be a most considerate measure to help them avoid unwanted complications from continued noncompliance."

In related news, Koskinen told the House Judiciary Committee that he doesn't deserve to be impeached for lying to Congress because "I was not fully informed that Agency subordinates had illegally destroyed documents under House subpoena. I, like so many others, at the highest levels of government, have been betrayed by feckless or malicious subordinates." Koskinen blamed "civil service regulations that tie the hands of those appointed by the President to carry out his policies. We don't have a free hand to replace disloyal employees with others committed to his cause."
Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) characterized Koskinen's stance as "ludicrous. First, the IRS engaged in illegal discriminatory treatment against conservative groups. Then they covered up the evidence. Now the Commission wants us to believe that non-political civil service employees are the real problem? It looks like the rot at the IRS seeps down from the uppermost level."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=226438.0