Government's Secret Security Plan

 by VA Voter

Because of my preferred status with the Obama Administration, they provided me with special instructions that provide security not available to you regular folks. Here are the steps I took.
-I removed my Confederate Rebel flag (which you can’t buy on EBAY any more) and peeled the NRA sticker off my front window. -I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the Neighborhood Watch. -I then bought two Pakistani flags, plus a Saudi and a Iranian flag and put one at each corner of my property.
-Then I purchased the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN buy on EBAY) and ran it up the flag pole.
Now the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, IRS, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching my house 24/7. I’ve NEVER felt safer and I’m saving $69.95 a month that ADT used to charge me.
And for added safety away from home, I bought burkas for the wife and I to wear when we shop or travel. Everyone moves out of the way and security can’t pat us down.
If anyone questions why I'm a male wearing a burka, I just say I'm feeling like a woman today. And then I ask for the location of the new designated bathroom.
Now that we feel totally safe, Obama can let in all the male Syrians he wants.