Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 6 Mar 2016 | John Semmens
Federal campaign finance records reveal that presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has been drawing a salary from campaign funds. To-date, the amounts paid have exceeded $250,000 since April of 2015.
Campaign manager Robbie Mook defended the payments as "a bargain. Normally, Hillary would receive $250,000 for a single speech. That the campaign has gotten hundreds of speeches from the candidate for the price of one has to be the greatest return on contributors' investment ever seen from a candidate."
"Campaigning is hard work," Mook continued. "She's put in more hours on it than she ever did as Secretary of State. Surely, she merits the pittance she has been compensated thus far."
In related news, the Federal Election Commission has charged Sen. Bernie Sanders' presidential campaign with violating campaign finance laws. In a letter sent to the candidate the FEC cited over 3,000 "excessive, prohibited and impermissible contributions." FRC Chairman Matthew Petersen dismissed contentions that others, including current President Barack Obama and rival Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton engaged in similar violations, labeling it "irrelevant. Two wrongs don't make a right. We've got to draw a line somewhere, sometime. We're drawing it here and now."
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