Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Democratic Presidential Rivals Court Illegal Immigrant Vote

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 29 Nov 2015 | John Semmens 

Democratic presidential aspirant Sen. Bernie Sanders (S-Vt) vowed to readmit illegal immigrants who were previously deported if he is elected president. "The notion that persons who have committed felonies in their country of origin cannot be allowed into the United States is unAmerican," Sanders asserted. "Many of those who came to America in the early years were individuals given the choice of emigration or execution. That same choice needs to be made available to those facing imprisonment or execution in their home countries today."
Sanders maintained his confidence that "only a minority of the readmitted felons are likely to repeat their crimes in our country. Our social safety net will ensure that their needs are met. They will not have to commit crimes to survive. For the tiny fraction who cannot be weaned from predatory criminal behavior our healthier and wealthier population can more readily abide and recover from the robberies, rapes, assaults and murders that may occur than their more destitute victims south of the border."
Not to be outdone, Sanders' main rival for the 2016 Democratic presidential nomination, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, promised to outlaw the phrase "illegal immigrant" if she becomes president. "While I have mistakenly used this phrase in the past myself, I now realize that it unfairly stigmatizes those whose fervent aspiration is to come to America," Clinton said. "But we need to go beyond the narrowly circumscribed 'felons' that Senator Sanders seeks to champion. Jihadis are an even more oppressed group. They aren't merely facing local law enforcement perils. They're being bombed are massacred by the Russians. They need to know that they can find refuge in the United States. I will provide this refuge if I am successful in next November's election."

Obama confident Democrats will retain White House (But Obama lies all the time!)

MarketWatch ^ | 12/01/15 | Greg Robb 

Asked about how the U.S. could commit to environmental action if a Republican were to succeed him, President Barack Obama on Tuesday said he was confident that Democrats would retain the White House. “I am anticipating a Democrat succeeding me,” Obama said at a press conference in Paris at the end of a conference on climate change. “I am confident in the wisdom of the American people on that front,” he added. The latest polls lend some credence to Obama’s prediction. The RealClearPolitics average of national polls has former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton leading the Republican front-runner, businessman Donald Trump, by 4 percentage points. Neurosurgeon Ben Carson and Florida Sen. Marco Rubio both hold small leads over Clinton, according to the RealClearPolitics averages.
(Excerpt) Read more at marketwatch.com ...

French Reporters Stunned At Obama’s Ignorance: "He is an Asshole! An Asshole!"

DCWhispers ^ | December 1, 2015 | DCWhispers 

The following was reported here earlier today:
Obama Just Said The Most Stunningly Idiotic Thing EVER.
Now it appears some among the Climate Summit's host-nation French media were just as outraged by Barack Obama's glaringly ignorant commentary regarding how mass shootings only happen in the United States - and said those words while standing on a stage in Paris less than two weeks after that city saw hundreds of its citizens gunned down and blown up by Muslim terrorists in a mass shooting attack.
It is said that following what was at times a painfully slow, slouching, and seemingly disinterested performance by President Obama, some among the French media were heard repeatedly using the words, "Connard! and Trouduc!" to describe their feelings regarding Mr. Obama's bizarre commentary - phrases rather specific to a certain part of the human anatomy.
(Excerpt) Read more at dcwhispers.com ...

Obama’s Top 8 Idiotic Statements in Paris

Breitbart ^ | December 1,2015 | by BEN SHAPIRO 

Obama Says That The Climate Change Conference Represents “An Act of Defiance That Proves Nothing Will Deter Us.
“In Some Ways, [Climate Change] Is Akin To The Problem of Terrorism and ISIL.”
Obama Compares Planned Parenthood Shooting to Paris Attacks.
Obama Says That Mass Shootings “Just [Don’t] Happen in Other Countries.”
Obama Says People Must Stop “Demonizing” Planned Parenthood.
Obama Says America Must “Reaffirm Our Commitment That Resources Will Be There For Countries Willing to Do Their Part to Skip The Dirty Phase of Development.”
“For Some Reason, Too Often In Washington, American Leadership Is Defined By Whether Or Not We’re Sending Troops Somewhere.”
“I Think People Should Be Confident That We’ll Meet Our Commitments On [Climate Change].
(Excerpt) Read more at breitbart.com ...

The list that settles whether Santa is liberal or conservative!

American Irony ^ | 12-1-15 | The Looking Spoon 

In 2012 a poll found a plurality of people thought Santa would be a Democrat.
Let's go down the ways this poll was right, and the (more) ways it was wrong.
You can link to this and tell people that one "study" showed Santa is almost twice as conservative as he is liberal.

It's time!












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