As genius as "The Art of the Schlong" is from page one, it doesn't quite reach its complete and blinding brilliance until Mr. Trump gets into the general election campaign against the Joan of Arc character, who -- spoiler alert! -- winds up getting horribly schlonged after suffering a stunning and humiliating public schlonging eight years earlier.
But because Mr. Trump operates at a level of psychological sophistication so far above this modern world of dummy politicians, none of the politicos gets that Mr. Trump wasn't even talking about the man who beat Joan at the polls.
He was actually talking about how Joan had been so horribly schlonged by her very own betrothed husband, who was a politician before her and has been her only meal ticket for her entire career.
It was during the primary in South Carolina in 2008 when Joan's husband -- gifted politician -- became unhinged and started invoking racial undertones in a campaign against America's real First Black President. Everyone marveled that he would have so openly sabotaged his own wife's presidential campaign.
But, truth is, it wasn't the first time he had publicly schlonged her in such a humiliating way.
You see, Joan's husband has always been like a bull elephant in musth, with reproductive hormones leaking from his temples, charging at females of every size, shape and age. Females who know the couple tell their daughters to stay away.
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