Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 20 July 2013 | John Semmens
Despite boasting during last Fall’s reelection campaign that he wouldn’t let Detroit go bankrupt, President Obama says he now has no plans to bail out the beleaguered city.
After decades of fiscally imprudent spending, the City is unable to pay its bills.
“I have to admit that when I first heard about the possibility I thought there was no way I could let that happen,” Obama said. “But as it’s been explained to me, the City can just default on its bonds and that debt will be wiped out. These bonds are mostly owned by rich people who don’t really need that money.”
Another factor justifying defaulting on the bonds according to the President is that “they were bought as a way to avoid paying taxes on the income. You see, interest earned on municipal bond is tax-free. So, in a way, these bond holders have been cheating the government out of its rightful share of their earnings for a long time. Canceling these bonds now helps even the score.”
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