Odd/Even Gasoline Rationing Runs into Trouble

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 10 Nov 2012 | John Semmens

Borrowing an idea left over from the Carter Administration, New York City announced an odd/even gasoline rationing scheme. It was hoped that the scheme would cut four-hour wait times at gasoline pumps in half.

However, a substantial portion of drivers are unable to determine whether the numbers on their license plates are odd or even. “My plate has four numbers on it,” one driver observed. “Which one should I use?”

Another driver pointed out that “I have a vanity plate. All of the writing on my plate is letters. Do I go on an ‘odd’ day because it is odd to have a vanity plate? Or do I go on an ‘even’ day because there are six letters?”

An unsympathetic Mayor Michael Bloomberg chastised drivers for continuing to own gasoline-fueled vehicles. “If these people drove electric-powered cars like President Obama has been trying to get them to do, they wouldn’t be having this problem,” he said.

It is unclear whether owners of electric vehicles would necessarily be as well off as the Mayor imagines. Hundreds of thousands of homes have been without electricity since Hurricane Sandy hit the City more than a week ago.

In related news, FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) offices in the hurricane stricken regions of New York and New Jersey were closed due to bad weather. FEMA Administrator W. Craig Fugate explained “Conditions were bad enough before this latest storm. Getting our employees to their desks under these circumstances is just not worth it. Once the weather emergency has passed we are confident that we can ramp up to a fully staff operation in a matter of just a few months.”