Debate mess: Blame Anybody But Obama?

Associated Posers ^ | 10-06-2012 | geronl

Debate Aftermath

(Associated Posers) – WASHINGTON DC – President Obama's supporters have blamed everything from the altitude in Denver to Jim Lehrer for his dismal performance at the first presidential debate against challenger Mitt Romney. For many Americans it was the first chance to see an unscripted Barack Obama and Mitt Romney without the media spin.
For his part Barack Obama declared he hadn't debated Mitt Romney at all “That wasn't the real Mitt Romney!”. Later his campaign released a statement saying that a Mitt Romney clone had been used, the evidence they said was “self evident”.
The supporters of President Obama have also blamed John Kerry, his debate coach for the bruising their guy took. Romney “cheated” some of them said pointing to possible poisonous fumes form Mitt Romney's handkerchief. Meanwhile Obama spokeswoman Stephanie Cutter appeared on CNN and finally admitted that their main accusation in the first debate that Romney wanted a $5 trillion tax cut had been completely made up.
“Yes, we lied. So what? Can we move to the next topic please?”
Meanwhile David Axelrod begged the media to do a better job of protecting the President and attacking Mitt Romney saying “We can't do this alone, there is no way we can win this Mano-a-mano. We need the media to help us out”.
Obama Senior Advisor David Plouffe says that John Kerry was just not up to keeping a lazy student interested in debate prep. “He couldn't keep his pupil in the seat. Turn his back and Barack Obama was visiting a hydro-electric dam somewhere. We thought being an older, white rich guy him and Mitt Romney would have a lot in common. We didn't take into account that John married money, twice, and Mitt earned his through capitalistic thievery”
James Carville pointed out several times on television “The President brought spitwads to a chainsaw fight. Clint Eastwood called him an empty chair and for some reason he set out to become one.”
Meanwhile top Democrat strategists agreed that the second debate must be about Mitt Romney and not the last four years. “The economy is in the crapper, we have the blow up in the middle east being called a bump in the road, we have Joe Biden and we have almost nothing positive to show for these last four years. It behooves our team and the media to make Mitt Romney the focus”
When asked if the Presidents' debate performance could be blamed on the President himself David Plouffe was adamant “Absolutely not. He has little to do with anything. Nobody expects Barack to lower himself like that, so we can't be disappointed if he doesn't.”
David Axelrod agreed “President Obama can't be blamed for anything. He is perfection personified and it was racist for you to ask such a question. Holding people responsible for their own actions is the old way of doing things, we are more enlightened now. No one on our side is ever going to blame Obama for anything he does. 65 million people saw that mess, now the media must convince people it never happened.”
New polls now give Mitt Romney a small advantage, a slight lead since the debate.