Olympic Medal Winners Hear from President Obama

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 4 Aug 2012 | John Semmens


President Obama has been calling Olympic medal winners to congratulate them on their victories. However, some have found the calls “somewhat disconcerting.”

A gold medal-winning athlete who asked that his name be withheld for fear of retribution said he has “mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, it’s flattering to be called by the President. I mean, with all he’s got on his plate, the idea that he’s got time to talk to me is something special.”

“On the other hand, I found his insistence that ‘you didn’t win that’ a bit unnerving,” the athlete admitted. “I know I’ve had a lot of help along the way. I never thought I was in it all by myself. But everyone competing has had help—even the ones that lose. I relish the opportunity I’ve had, but in the end I still had to outrace my competitors. Surely, I merit some credit for rising above that competition.”
Press Secretary Jay Carney defended the President’s message saying “if he had his way everyone would get medals. The victory really belongs to all of humanity. Every champion is the product of every influence that exists or ever existed. His own contribution is vanishingly small in the grand scheme of things. So, basically, the President is right. The ones getting the medals didn’t really win them. Somebody else made that happen.”
In related news, in a campaign speech in Ohio, President Obama hammered Mitt Romney’s tax plan saying that it unfairly “leaves too large a share of the nation’s wealth in the hands of those who created it” and contrasted it with his plan that “carves up the ‘pie’ more fairly because it’s based on need, not greed.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...
http://azconservative.org/2012/08/03/dems-move-to-block-military-vote/