You may be a Muslim if.....

1. If you grow poppeys and refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor....
You may be a Muslim.
2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher and ammo, but you can't afford shoes....
You may be a Muslim
3. If you have more wives than teeth....
You may be a Muslim
4. If you wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon and pork unclean.... .... .... ....
You may be a Muslim
5. If you think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide....
You may be a Muslim
6. If you can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against....
You may be a Muslim
7. If ou consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing....
You may be a Muslim
8. If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs. ...
You may be a Muslim
9. If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four....
You may be a Muslim
10. If your cousin is president of the United States....
You may be a Muslim