Abortion Clinic Offers Sunday Discount

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 30 June 2012 | John Semmens


The Orlando Women’s Center in Florida is offering a $50 discount to patients for abortions performed on Sunday.

NARAL spokesperson Adora Slaughter praised the clinic’s “progressive marketing campaign. The frontal assault on the notion that somehow Sundays ought to be sacrosanct is a stroke of genius. I mean, consider the contrast. Instead of sitting in a church worshiping a nonexistent god a woman could be contributing to the health of the environment by reducing the Earth’s future population. If a $50 coupon is all it takes to shift our culture’s focus in this way I’m very encouraged about the progress we’re making.”

If the $50 discount isn’t enough to enable a woman to afford an abortion, the Fund Abortion Now website (www.fundabortionnow.org) offers additional aid. “No one should be forced to forgo an abortion just because she can’t pay for it,” Slaughter declared. “Fortunately, the Affordable Care Act is on track to secure this right for everyone in America. In the meantime, we’re grateful that alternate sources of funding are so readily available.”