Monday, June 4, 2012

Obama Humor

Trying again to shift the blame for the bumpy economy, President Obama said that Congressional Republicans are "standing in the way" of recovery. Kinda like blaming the ambulance driver for your heart attack.


In Ohio, a gunman robbed a bank and escaped on a BMX bicycle. I hear Obama wants him tracked down and given a green energy grant for not using a getaway car.


MSNBC's Chris Matthews says he's tired of having "right-wingers" make fun of the "thrill up my leg" comment he made about Obama. Us? Make fun of him? Don't be thrilly.


During a visit to San Francisco, Raul Castro's hard-line communist daughter said "I would vote for Barack Obama." Honey, this isn't Cuba. You don't HAVE to vote for the guy in office.


The White House now claims that "under Obama, federal spending is rising at the slowest pace since Dwight Eisenhower." Guess blaming it on one previous President wasn't enough anymore.


DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz predicted there "aren't going to be any repercussions" from the likely Republican win in the Wisconsin recall election. Debbie... the win IS the repercussion.


Why is it so often said: "The economy is Obama's re-election problem. Looks like foreign affairs might be an asset"? That's only true if the bar set for him by the media is so low that it's actually underground.


The New York Times reports that President Obama is maintaining a secret "kill list." I'm tempted to suggest the economy's on it, but that's not a secret.


The New York Times reports that Presidential adviser David Axelrod is allowed to attend highest-level national security meetings. I'm sure the New York Times would have had no problem with Karl Rove doing the same.


Barack Obama will win re-election in November, according to five astrologers who offered predictions at their New Orleans convention. Must be the same ones who told Obama unemployment would never get above 8%.


President Obama awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom to Dolores Huerta, an avowed socialist labor activist. In France, they'd have just elected her President.


Brutal Zimbabwean Dictator Robert Mugabe has been honored as a "leader for tourism" by the UN. Shocker. The UN honors another genocidal maniac. Did Pol Pot get a "lifetime achievement" award?


A senior Democratic Party official said the Obama campaign may not stick with the slogan "Forward." Frankly, I liked their old one better: "Lean forward and grab your ankles, America."


Former Obama Car Czar Steve Rattner said "it's very hard" to explain President Obama's record "in a positive way." Nah, it's easy: try "nearly finished."


-- Fred Thompson 

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