New Rules for Bill Maher's Mets

Now that Bill Maher has obtained a minority interest in the NY Mets, surely there will be some changes made to bring the team in line with what is most important to Bill. Rumor has it, these changes are under consideration: ;-)
All employees will receive equal pay, from management to players to ticket takers.
No player will be allowed to have greater accomplishments than any other. If a pitcher throws a no-hitter, he must not do so again until all the other pitchers have also done it.
All genders, ethnicities, races, and sexual preferences will be equally represented on the team's roster. At least half the team must be women.
All ticket prices will be the same for all seats.
The best seats will be given to the poorest fans. Bring proof of government benefits with you to the game.
The line-up for each game will be decided by a vote of those present in the stadium prior to the game.
No animal products, peanuts, sugary drinks, or alcohol will be served during games so as not to offend or upset anyone.
Christians, fans and players, will not be allowed to wear or display any sign of their religion. Muslims, however, are welcome to stop games at any time and go onto the field for prayer. The direction of Mecca will be prominently displayed.
Every member of the team will have an equal number of at bats. Batting order will be determined by lottery prior to each game.
If the opposing team commits an error, the Mets' player who plays that same position must make an error in the subsequent inning.
All games must end in a tie in order to preserve equality of results.
If the Mets make a profit, it must be shared equally with every other team in the league.
The Mets will not participate in the All Star Game, the playoffs, or the World Series because some players and teams are excluded from these events.