Democrats Make Gay Marriage a Major Political Issue!

http://constitutionclub.org/2012/05/11/semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-19/ ^ | 11 May 2012 | John Semmens



President Obama announced that his thinking has evolved to the point where he now supports the idea that persons of the same sex are entitled to marry one another. “Look, Jesus spent his career in the company of men,” Obama pointed out. “He never married. I think we have a pretty good indication that it was only the prejudice of the religious and secular authorities that prevented him hooking up with one of the Apostles—perhaps the mysterious ‘beloved apostle.’ I say it’s time that prejudice and repression of gays come to an end.”

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) said she is hoping that the President’s endorsement of gay marriage will persuade voters “to look past economic disappointments and reward the President and his Party for this momentous achievement. The President’s courageous decision is a reminder to us all that petty concerns over paychecks and jobs pale in comparison to the need to establish equal rights for all. President Obama filled my heart with joy. I think his action here fulfills Jesus’ message of universal love.”

Representative (QUEER) Barney Frank (D-Mass) predicted that this open endorsement of gay rights will be a winning issue for Democrats in November because “it gives America’s gay majority the incentive to come out in force to reelect the President. I would advise every Democrat to get on this bandwagon while they can.” The first wave of Democrats taking Frank’s advice included Representatives Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (Fla), Nita Lowey (NY), Jim Himes (Conn), Jared Polis (Colo), Peter Welch (Vt), Xavier Becerra (Calif) and Jackie Speier (Calif).

In related news, a bill that would make it a crime to try to dissuade children from choosing a homosexual lifestyle is expected to pass in that state’s heavily Democratic legislature. California Senate Bill 1172 would make it illegal for therapists, psychologists, counselors and parents to engage in any kind of “sexual orientation change efforts” for children 18 and younger. The bill’s sponsor, Senator Ted Lieu (D-Torrance), maintained that “a person’s sexual orientation is in his genes. Anyone who attempts to divert a person from his or her gay destiny is committing a crime against human nature.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...
http://constitutionclub.org/2012/05/11/semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-19/